back to december

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life? Tell me, how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier than ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up, and I know why

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses, and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December all the time

These days, I haven't been sleeping

Staying up, playing back myself leaving

When your birthday passed, and I didn't call

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side

And realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days

When fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile

So good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time, all the time

Spring in London

- Spring in London- (Ilana Tan)

Ada sesuatu yang ingin kukatakan padamu sejak dulu. Sampai sekarang aku belum mengatakannya karena.. Yah, karena berbagai alasan. Dan alasan utamanya karena aku takut.  

Kalau aku mengatakannya, reaksi apa yang akan kau berikan?

Apakah kau akan menerima pengakuanku?

Apakah kau akan percaya padaku?

Apakah kau masih akan menatapku seperti ini?

Tersenyum padaku seperti ini?

Atau justru kau akan menjauh dariku?

Meninggalkanku?

Tapi aku tau aku harus mengatakannya padamu. Aku tidak mungkin menyimpannya selamanya. Entah bagaimana reaksimu nanti setelah mendengarnya, aku hanya berharap satu hal padamu.

Jangan pergi dariku.

Tetaplah di sisiku.